Life Lesson: You should always look closely at your outdoor shoes before you slip them on.

Interweb, meet Hairy Garcia. Hairy Garcia, Interweb.

Me: Hola, Senior Hairy Garcia. Mucho gusto. (Hello, Mr. Hairy Garcia. A pleasure to meet you.)

Him: ¿Dónde está el baño? (Well, I think that’s what he said, I can’t be sure).

Me: Oye, eres muy guapo, y fuerte. Pero, por favor, salír de aquí. No te quiero. Quiero mís zapatos. Eso es todo lo que tengo que decír. (Listen, you are very handsome, and strong. But please, get out of here. I don’t love you. I love my shoes. That’s all I have to say.)

Ok, so my Spanish is limited. But either he perfectly understood me, or he perfectly understood the brick I was holding over his head. In any case, my flip-flop was spared any splatter … this time.