“Polka-hontas”

I found this little lady out front a few weeks ago. She is very calm, not at all confrontational. In fact, she was most congenial.

Freaky Friday

Life Lesson: You should always look closely at your outdoor shoes before you slip them on.

Interweb, meet Hairy Garcia. Hairy Garcia, Interweb.

Me: Hola, Senior Hairy Garcia. Mucho gusto. (Hello, Mr. Hairy Garcia. A pleasure to meet you.)

Him: ¿Dónde está el baño? (Well, I think that’s what he said, I can’t be sure).

Me: Oye, eres muy guapo, y fuerte. Pero, por favor, salír de aquí. No te quiero. Quiero mís zapatos. Eso es todo lo que tengo que decír. (Listen, you are very handsome, and strong. But please, get out of here. I don’t love you. I love my shoes. That’s all I have to say.)

Ok, so my Spanish is limited. But either he perfectly understood me, or he perfectly understood the brick I was holding over his head. In any case, my flip-flop was spared any splatter … this time.

Friday Afternoon Smackdown

I totally got in a fight this afternoon. And I totally did not start it.

Ok, so here’s the premise. Ever since Michael took those stunning macro photos of His Frogness Prince Gilbert, I’ve been fascinated with taking close-up shots of living beings, especially insects. They’re just beautiful.

I can’t really explain this strange new obsession, but lately I’ve been prowling around outside looking for interesting insects to photograph, of which we have many. I won’t post my pics all at once, because you might bug out. But I will have some to share with you.

Anyway, for the most part, the objects of my obsession are oblivious toward my amateur photography sessions, which is good. But they are often on the move, so it’s sometimes very hard to get a good shot.

One such fella I’d been trying to photograph for a few days proved to be just such a challenge. I have no idea what the proper names of these insects are, but of course I give them their own names. So this guy is Scrappy Mac “Goldenbutt” Jones, and he’s been hanging around my patio for quite some time.

Yesterday, I caught him napping in the sun, but when I got out the camera and got up close and personal, he took off. Totally chose “flight” over fight.

But today I saw him again. And today, he was ready for a fight.

Here is a close-up of Mr. Goldenbutt.

You can see how beautiful his butt is. Well of course it is, it’s made of gold.

So, very annoyed with my camera being in such close proximity, he whipped around and totally confronted me.

And he was all, “What are you looking at, lady?” (He totally had a Jersey accent.)

And then he was all, “Put ’em up, put ’em up,” and began doing some bizarre pre-fight dance, getting all up on his hind legs, then prancing back and forth, presumably to psych himself out, since we’re clearly in different weight divisions.

And I was all, “Oh excuse me, Mr. Goldenbutt, I just wanted a close up shot of the cool horns on your back.” (Trying to intimidate him with my sarcasm).

And then he’s all, “BACK OFF WOMAN, OR ELSE.”

And I’m all, “Or else what, tough guy?” He’s not the only one who’s scrappy. And then,

… suddenly, he was not in my viewfinder anymore. And I’m all, “Ha, I showed you, tiny insolent creature.”

And then he was all “BAM” and totally jumped me.

That’s when I finally screamed and dropped the camera.

Then he’s all, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

And he proudly strutted away, while I hung my head in shame.

Anyway, that was my Friday Afternoon Smackdown. Thought you might enjoy the play-by-play.